girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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