You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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