Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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