Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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