he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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