god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
