Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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