I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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