i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
