marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
