drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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