She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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