I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
