In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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