Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
