After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
