OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
