i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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