how can u be prego again
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
