i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
