i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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