I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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