she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
