why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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