O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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