That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have tasted many bathrooms
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
