did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
