She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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