we're blogging at a bar
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
