her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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