You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
