Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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