So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
