girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
