it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
