pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
