So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
