Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
pop tarts are not kleenex
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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