Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
