Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
