So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
