Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
