69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Congratulations! We have a period
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