ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
