on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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