yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize