I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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