..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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