how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
