Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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