mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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