Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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