I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize