I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
