Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize