she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
